One Day In Smallville
by Charmedpppp
Summary: This is a oneshot I wrote with raindrops 93. It's quite bizarre.


One day in Smallville, Lois was at the Kent Farm. Martha had baked biscuits.

"You have achieved new balance." Jonathan said suddenly.

"That's nice." Martha said. "Yes, in the year 1874."

"I agree. Dance Natural Mirrabooka." Clark agreed.

"What the?" Lois left.

"You must see and hear the experience at Ranunculus." Martha said, "Isn't that a flower?" Chloe came in with Lana.

"Yes, I got Red Version in Project Studio." Clark came in yelling.

"Well Hansel and Gretel visited me at the 3D Home Architect Deluxe." Lex said.

"Quick, I need CP2 Consumer Power, with the rat on the cover. You know, the one that looks like me." Lionel screamed.

"Just go to and get a Pure Earth Vintage 1999." Clark suggested.

"Everyone has gone mad!!!" Lana screamed and ran out crying.

"Okay." Chloe said.

"Are you going to go get my Open Range yet?" Martha asked Clark.

"Where do I get it?"

"At the YCA650/XCA750." Martha told him. He left.

"I'm just gonna leave. I need to pick up potatoes." Chloe left.

"I am going to leave. I will go pick up the Pizza, Pasta and Accompaniments Menu." Lex exited stage left.

"Mum! I could not find it!" Clark yelled.

"I sent you to the wrong place it is supposed to be XCA650/XCA750."

"Okay," Clark left again. RING, RING.

"Hello?" Lionel said.

"Lex is dead." The person on the other end of the line told Lionel. The person hung up.

"LEX! He is in so much trouble he was supposed to get me my Patio TV Visitor Information!" Lionel shouted.

"Is everyone good now?" Lois came back in the house.

"Lois, Lex died so will you go pick up the Pizza, Pasta and Accompaniments Menu for us? And Lionel's Patio TV Visitor Information?"

"What? No." Lois said. "What's wrong with the world?"

"I want another biscuit!" Shelby sang.

"AHHHH! A talking dog! AHHHHH!" Lois screamed.

"Yes, the dog talks. But he's self watering." Martha said.

"I'm going to go get a DING DONG Powells." Jonathan left.

"Chloe's back! She has potatoes! But she left them in the car!"

"Hey Lois. Yes, I know, they have gone crazy." Chloe said.

"They want me to pick some menu." Lois said.

"I am back, and even have DWARF MIX!" Clark yelled.

"YAH!" Martha and Lionel cheered.

"Everyone still insane?" Lana asked coming back. "Oh, biscuits." She had one.

"OH MY! Jonathan forgot to go get the Wirraway from the Aviation Museum."

Lana yelled.

"Not her to!" Lois and Chloe yelled. "RUN!" They ran. They ran over the hills and far away to Bendigo and made friends with a Kangaroo. His name was Bob. It was happy. This didn't really happen. They really ran home. And thought of a plan.

"Okay, what is doing this to them?"

"No idea."

"Lets back track."

"Okay."

**FLASHBACKS**

One day in Smallville, Lois was at the Kent Farm. Martha had baked biscuits.

"You have achieved new balance." Jonathan said suddenly.

"That's nice." Martha said. "Yes, in the year 1874."

"I agree. Dance Natural Mirrabooka." Clark agreed.

"What the?" Lois left.

"You must see and hear the experience at Ranunculus." Martha said, "Isn't that a flower?" Chloe came in with Lana.

"Yes, I got Red Version in Project Studio." Clark came in yelling…..

"Are you going to go get my Open Range yet?" Martha asked Clark.

"Where do I get it?"

"At the YCA650/XCA750." Martha told him. He left.

"I'm just gonna leave. I need to pick up potatoes." Chloe left.

"I am going to leave. I will go pick up the Pizza, Pasta and Accompaniments Menu." Lex exited stage left.

"Mum! I could not find it!" Clark yelled.

"I sent you to the wrong place it is supposed to be XCA650/XCA750."

"Okay," Clark left again. RING, RING.

"Hello?" Lionel said.

"Lex is dead." The person on the other end of the line told Lionel. The person hung up.

"LEX! He is in so much trouble he was supposed to get me my Patio TV Visitor Information!" Lionel shouted….

"Is everyone good now?" Lois came back in the house.

"Lois, Lex died so will you go pick up the Pizza, Pasta and Accompaniments Menu for us? And Lionel's Patio TV Visitor Information?"

"What? No." Lois said. "What's wrong with the world?"

"I want another biscuit!" Shelby sang.

"AHHHH! A talking dog! AHHHHH!" Lois screamed.

"Yes, the dog talks. But he's self watering." Martha said.

"I'm going to go get a DING DONG Powells." Jonathan left.

"Chloe's back! She has potatoes! But she left them in the car!"

"Hey Lois. Yes, I know, they have gone crazy." Chloe said.

"They want me to pick some menu." Lois said.

"I am back, and even have DWARF MIX!" Clark yelled.

"YAH!" Martha and Lionel cheered.

"Everyone still insane?" Lana asked coming back. "Oh, biscuits." She had one.

"OH MY! Jonathan forgot to go get the Wirraway from the Aviation Museum."

Lana yelled….

**FLASHBACK END**

"Now, what have they done that we didn't?" Chloe asked Lois.

"Go insane, get some pizza menu, go to XCA something." Lois suggested, "A lot of stuff."

"What about Lana?"

"Well, she had biscuits." Lois said.

"THE BISCUITS!"

"You put your left hand in, your left out, your left hand in and you shake it all about. Then you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn around, that's what it's all about." Clark was singing. They were all doing the Hokey Pokey.

"We forgot to plan how to solve this problem." Lois told Chloe.

"Hope it will wear off." Chloe said.

"Make a reverse biscuit mixture?" Lois said.

"Then we need to know what is in the biscuits. But there are none left."

Chloe said. Lois went away and came back with an axe.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Lois said.

"NO!" Chloe yelled.

"What about Lex's body?"

"That's okay."

So they got Lex's body, cut him open and found out what was in the biscuits.

"She put rat poison in the biscuits!" Lois said.

"Then why isn't Lionel dead?"

"Who cares? We must give them no-rat poisoned biscuits!" Lois started to make some biscuits.

"How about I make them?" Chloe said.

"Why should you make them?" Lois asked.

"Cause you can't cook," Chloe shoved Lois out of the way and finished making the biscuits.

"Okay, we have the biscuits, lets go." Lois grabbed the plate.

"How are we supposed to get them to eat the biscuits?" Chloe questioned as they stepped out of the car at the Kent Farm.

"Like this," Lois opened the house door and yelled, "Martha made some more biscuits!!"

"I did?" Martha asked. She looked at the biscuits. "I did! Dig in!"

"But know one has won yet." Lana complained. They seemed to be playing Musical Chairs.

"Eat first please!" Chloe begged. So they did.

"YUMMY!" Lionel yelled. "Now back to Musical Chairs."

"Can we start again?" Martha asked. "Maybe Lois and Chloe would like to play?"

"Can we finish this game first? It's only Clark and me?" Lana said.

"Okay," Jonathan started the music; it was 'Barbie Girl'.

"Chloe, do you realise there singing along, and AREN'T cured!" Lois shouted.

"I have an idea!" Chloe cried.

"Really what?" Lois asked.

"Well, they wont like it."

"Who cares, tell."

"Well, if the biscuit's had rat poison in it, then maybe we need to feed them…rats." Chloe explained.

"So, the rat poison attacks the rats not them." Lois said. "Where do we get the rats?"

"Um, rat farm."

"Do they have those?" Lois questioned.

"How about a pet store then."

"Sure."

"Excuse me, but we need five rats." Chloe told the man at the counter.

"De-sexed or not?" He asked.

"We don't care, we just need rats okay!" Lois shouted.

"Okay then. That will be…" The shopkeeper looked up and saw that they were gone. He heard evil laughing from down the street.

"I can't believe we stole the rats." Chloe said when they were back at Lois's apartment.

"Who cares? Now how do we put the rats in the biscuits?" Lois asked.

"Well we should probably kill them first." Chloe suggested.

"I'll get my axe." Lois started to go.

"You have an axe?"

"You have a car full of weapons." Lois shrugged and left then came back with an axe. The cooked the rat biscuits and went back to the Kent Farm.

"More biscuits!" Lois yelled.

"But we were just playing Have-A-Go Ezibuy!" Lana complained, "And that one has a tail."

"Just eat them." Lois growled holding her axe.

"Okay, eating time!" Martha yelled. They all started to eat.

"Okay Chloe, how do we see if there cured?" Lois whispered.

"Are you guys going to go back to playing Have-A-Go Ezibuy?" Chloe asked.

"What? What sort of game is that? And what's in these biscuits?" Lana asked.

"Probably Lois's cooking." Clark said.

"Well, if you really want to know what's in them…" Lois started to say.

"That one has a tail in it!" Martha yelled. They all fainted apart from Chloe and Lois.


End file.
